I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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