You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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