He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
