Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
