i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
