wanna go halves on a baby?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
