if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
