I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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