I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
