I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
