a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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