Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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