How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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