Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
