Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
