I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
