I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Even my vagina gasped.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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