Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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