come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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