well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
