If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
