I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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