i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
