threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
