we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
