Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
