you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
