so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
