she takes plan B like it's going out of style
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
