You're so nebulous sometimes
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
