Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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