So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
