So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
