Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
