He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
