He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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