i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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