I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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