im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
