i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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