sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
