And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
