well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
