The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
