i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
