They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
