You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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