Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
it's like heaven, but drunker
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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