you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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