Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
please come you make the beer taste better
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
