The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
